10th Week: Supreme Court Rulings

This post isn't going to be talking much about what was discussed in class.  We did talk about communication, but I feel our subject was overshadowed by much bigger news.  This past week, the Supreme Court ruled that any law preventing homosexual marriage was "unconstitutional" and also claimed that only the state governments had the power to make a ruling on the subject.  As a citizen of California, this is frustrating to me because we fought for Proposition 8 to be passed, and the members of our state government won't uphold it.

But what I really want to talk about is that people are treating this like the civil rights movement back in the 60s and 70s.  There is no way that the two issues can be comparable.  Race is something that people cannot change about themselves.  You are born into a race, and that should not have an effect on what you are able to accomplish in your lifetime.  People deserve rights regardless of their race, and this is something that has been preached and taught throughout history.

When it comes to sexual orientation, homosexuality is a perversion of what should be a simple male or female situation.  As we've discussed in previous classes, homosexuality is not something that people are born with.  People are born with different temperaments, and some of those temperaments are different from what is considered normal for a boy or a girl.  Because of this, the person feels like they do not belong with the group, and the things that are foreign to them begin to become attractive to them.  It is a natural process of life that is mistaken for homosexual tendencies, causing people to become confused.

I'm going to close this post with the closing statements from a Dennis Prager article that I highly recommend and will provide a link to:

By redefining marriage to include same sex couples we are playing with sexual and societal fire. Just as the entitlement state passes on the cost of our good intentions to our children and grandchildren - unsustainable dependency and debt -- so, too, same-sex marriage will pass along the consequences of our good intentions to our children and grandchildren - gender confusion and the loss of motherhood and fatherhood as values, just to cite two obvious consequences.

It is not enough to mean well in life. One must also do well. And the two are frequently not the same thing.

There are reasons no moral thinker in history ever advocated same-sex marriage.

Link: http://www.dennisprager.com/columns.aspx?g=4bd9a8e1-d2e3-4e27-8ff9-13225099eea5&url=why_a_good_person_can_vote_against_samesex_marriage

Crisis of the 9th Week

This was a very emotional week of class, since one cannot talk about how to deal with a family crisis without sharing a family crisis.  The stories that Brother Williams shared about his family life we very somber and profound, and I believed they helped to illustrate how a family can grow stronger if they approach a crisis with the right attitude and manage to grow together instead of growing apart when that crisis comes.  After this week, I believe that in order to truly overcome a crisis, a family must have a strong foundation and the members of the family must have a strong relationship with each other.  If they do not have these things, then a crisis could weaken and even destroy their family.

Another thing we talked about was group therapy and group counseling being more effective than individual therapy.  Most of what we talked about came from Cloe Madanes, and we discovered that in order for a change to come, all parties involved in the original crises need to be involved in the process of change.  We can't expect things to be different if we take one person out of the system and council them, then put them back into the problem system.  We need to council everyone so that the system they were in can be changed for the better, and the original crisis can be averted.

To sum up, after this week of class, I am all for group therapy and counseling, and I don't think much can be accomplished if a therapist is focusing on just one person when the whole family needs help.  I also want to advocate the necessity of a strong family foundation in order to overcome life's crises. 

Links: http://www.cloemadanes.com/

Intimacy and the 8th Week

This week could have been very awkward, but the teacher and the class were able to talk about the subject manner in a way that was both respectful and informative. We talked about the subjects of intimacy and sexual relationships as they pertain to marriage, and we've come to the realization that while a lot of focus is spent on safe sex and preventing teen pregnancy and pre-marital sex, the real issue is that people don't know how to have a relationship or how to feel close to someone. I honestly believe that a large amount of the people taking part in pre-marital sex are doing so because they think that is how they feel close and intimate to someone. While having a sexual relationship is part of that, it should only come after one has established that closeness with a person. You get close to someone by learning about them, spending time with them, doing activities with them, talking with them, learning about their love language, MARRYING them, and once you've established that as a foundation, then you can have a sexual relationship with them, which will bring you and your spouse even closer if you've built a foundation of intimacy and closeness beforehand.

The other subject we talked about was teaching children about sexual intercourse. According an article from NBC News (Link provided below) New York City introduced a new sex ed curriculum to its school districts in 2011 which included assigning middle school students Risk Cards, which rate the safety of various sexual acts such as french kissing and oral sex. For some reason, it seems that officials have decided the best way to educate children about sex and the dangers present is by laying it all out on the table. While we do need to teach our children about sex and how their bodies work, we need to do it at their level. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has published a book on how to teach sex to children titled A Parent's Guide, which gives information and techniques on how to teach to children of different ages.

I believe that the best place for children to learn about sex and intimate relationships, like with any topic, is in the home. I'm very opposed to them learning about these issues in school, since schools don't care about the sacredness or the respect that is needed for these topics.

NBC News Article: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/mandatory-sex-ed-curriculum-new-york-city-public-schools-132404248.html?dr

A Parent's Guide: http://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide?lang=eng

The 7th Week had a Baby

As we continue through our discussion of getting married, being married, and having children, I realize that I am learning quite a lot that will prepare me for when I eventually get to these points in my life. I realize how conceited that sounds because I also believe that one can never be fully prepared for something until they actual get to experience it, but I think I'll have a leg up on some people.

My greatest take-away from this week was budgeting for a wedding. I honestly never realized how much people spent on a wedding, since I thought it wouldn't cost much in the first place. Now that I know some people are blowing around $60,000 on a wedding, I'm dead set on only spending $1000. A lot of things can be taken care of by favors from friends and families, and some things don't need to be gotten because those are wants instead of needs.

Lastly, I like that we talked about how people feel less marital satisfaction when a baby is born. After what we've discussed, I believe the reason for this is that people don't realize all the changes that have to be made for when a baby enters the family system. Before the baby, it's just two people and that's all your focus is on, but then when a baby comes along, you have to start focusing on the spouse and the baby. Schedules have to be changed, time has to be given to the child, and it can and will take a serious toil on people, especially if they aren't prepared for this. I do think it can be somewhat avoided if a couple creates a schedule for when they can have time together and if they communicate with each other instead of just assuming the other one knows how they're feeling.

That concludes my thoughts for this week.

How to marry the sixth week

Another week has come and gone, and I'm enjoying my Family Relations class more than ever. The things that we talk about in this class are things that everyone should know about, and as one of my classmates said, they should be talked about in public schools alongside or even in place of sex ed. We have a lot of troubles with relationships in the world, which I believe can be fixed by learning how relationships are supposed to work and implementing that knowledge. One thing I really liked about this week was the relationship chart that was similar to the stereo equalizer, stating that knowing someone was more important than trusting someone, relying on someone or committing to someone. A large amount of our problems with relationships come when we put more commitment, trust, and reliance on people when we don't know very much about them, as evidenced by people who got married when they didn't really do anything to learn about each other during the dating process.

Another thing we talked about that I liked was how people outside your relationship can see when there are problems that need to be addressed. Back when I had a girlfriend, I was basically living in a fantasy land and not really doing anything to move the relationship along or learning about her. People around me could see there were problems and that I needed to make adjustments, but I was cocky and didn't follow their advice. Today that relationship fell through due to problems on both our ends, but I think things would have been a little better if I had know about this "Relationship Equalizer" at the time.

Lastly, I also liked how we talked about that sometimes people who aren't in a relationship think that there is a problem with them and that is why they haven't been able to hook up with someone or get married. While there are people who are jerks and just don't know how to act in a relationship, most of the time everyone feels like they are the only one who is doing something wrong and that they have a problem. If you feel this way, let me tell you that you are not alone, and the best thing to do is never give up and don't let fear prevent you from dating people and having fun.